Thursday, March 29, 2012

Advice For Omnis

Taking a break from my usual format to bring a helpful list to my omni readers! If you ever encounter a vegan in the wild, here are some things you should not say to them. I have had ALL of these said to me personally, some of them dozens upon dozens of times!

Things Not To Say To A Vegan

* Do you eat fish?  / Why don't you eat fish? / I am a vegetarian, I only eat fish.

* I used to be vegetarian, but I started eating meat again because Insert Bullshit Reason Here.

* I could never date a vegan. (Said not to me, but to my husband many times when he started dating me.)

* Where do you get your protein?

* Why do you look like that, then? People who don't eat meat are usually skinny!

* It doesn't hurt the cow to take milk from her.

* I could never do that, I like meat too much!

* Do vegans breastfeed their babies?

* Eating meat doesn't hurt anybody.

* Any implication that vegans literally eat nothing but vegetables. "Sure, there is food for you to eat there, They have a dinner salad" or "My friend got sick because she ate nothing but vegetables."

* What's the big deal? It's just food!

* Why do you eat fake meat? If you like the taste of meat so much, why not just eat meat?

* Do vegans swallow? (And I think you know what they were talking about..... not tofu!!!!)

* Can you eat bread? Can you eat chocolate?

* Vegans are unhealthy and obnoxious.

* Vegan food is tasteless and pointless.

* I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables!

That last one really gets me as being the most idiotic! How about we put you, unarmed, with a hungry lion? I think we would see pretty quickly exactly who clawed himself to the top of the food chain!!!

And I know that asking about bread or chocolate is well meaning, and people somehow assume that all bread has milk or eggs in it (the vast majority does not) and that chocolate inherently has dairy in it (think about that one.... cacao isn't that different from coffee beans, so assuming that all chocolate automatically has dairy in it is like assuming all cups of coffee must have dairy in them!), but really people! Do you think I would volunteer to live a live that didn't involve bread or chocolate?!?!? ;-)

Anyway, I hope this will help you not look clueless when you next speak to a vegan! :-D If any vegan reads this and you have more examples, please leave them in the comments!


  1. Oh yes, I could see myself in your list! Other things I've been told:
    - If you really want to reduce your impact in the planet, why don't you commit suicide? (really....)

    -If you were in a desert island and the only thing available to eat there was roasted pork, what would you do?

    - Or another classic I just remembered: when an omnivore has the flu, he's got a virus, when a vegan has the flu, it's because they don't eat meat. (though we don't really get sick much!)

    1. Yes! You reminded me of another one! No one said this to me personally, but I once read an article that claimed, "All vegans get sick." Well, duh! How about "All PEOPLE get sick"?!? People hear about the one vegan on Earth who actually did get sick from a B12 deficiency and get all hysterical.... forgetting about how most people actually die from diseases directly linked to meat eating (heart attack, strokes, cancer). Yes, all vegans will one day get sick enough from something that they will die.... vegan or not, no one is immune to that, except for people who die in accidents first!

      Another one I heard very recently, regarding the environment, is I was asked why I didn't just stop using all plastics, since plastic has a greater impact on the environment than meat production. Basically, why did I choose the wrong battle?