Progress Report #5

A great month! Here's where I am, 5 months in...

Conquered!

* Raw Onions
* Tonic Water
* Tabbouleh
* White Wine
* Endive
* Parsnips
* Kohlrabi
* Lamb's Quarters
* Root Beer
* Sauerkraut
* Mustard
* Baba Ghanoush
* Taro Chips
* Daikon
* Radishes
* Earl Grey Tea
* Pickled Ginger
* Broccoli Rabe
* Onion Rings
* Poutine
* "Everything" Pretzel Slims
* Grapefruit Juice, when served in a cocktail that includes sweet ingredients
* Radicchio
* Bloody Mary
* Sparkling Water
* Dark 'n Stormy
* Lemongrass
* Reuben Sandwich
* Chai 
* Kimchi
* "Everything" Bagels
* Farro
* Grapefruit
* Raw Foods (ok, which I mostly disqualified for being Health Food For Neurotic Weirdos, but I count it as conquered because I was actually brave enough to eat it!)
* Turnips
* Mineral Water
* Herbal Tea
* Beer, of all varieties!
* Ginger Beer
* "Jerk" style food
* "Blackened" food
* Flavored Water
* Tiramisu
* Brazilian Food
* Aquavit
* Aperol
* Hot Dog with "the works"... mustard, ketchup and relish

Works in Progress...

* Seaweed Snacks
* Mole
* Cranberry Juice
* Champagne
* Kombucha Disqualified from the competition for being health food!
* Sea vegetables
* Baklava
* Chocolate with Spicy stuff in it
* Floral Flavored Foods

Haven't Gotten Around To.... Yet.

* Green Tea Flavored Treats
* Spaghetti Squash

If you showed this list to my 9 year old self.... or even my 37 year old self... I would not have believed it!

I admit, I don't have any big food plans for the next few days... we'll see what opportunities present themselves to me.... but one thing I know for sure is I'm NOT going to eat any more of that Crispy Chicken Salad with Pickles and Lima Beans! I mean, I *want* to eat it still, but I went a bit out of control there!

Too Obsessed With Chicken Salad To Think of a Title

I haven't had much to report lately. As previously stated, I am almost out of things to eat and drink! And I'm still afraid of the seaweed snacks. ;-) In addition, my husband is away, and I've had a strange thing happen to me. I got obsessed with a recipe, and I've pretty much eaten the same meal, over and over again this week. It's so good, and I guess after spending most of the past 2 months eating nothing but veggies and whole grains, I'm enjoying it a little bit extra. And it's not even particularly unhealthy, or anything, but it sure is delicious! For the curious, the meal I've been having a love affair with is this Crispy Chicken Salad With Lima Beans and Pickles.

This is what has been keeping me company on the long, lonely nights without my husband.

But I didn't come here to talk about that salad (however, you can see that I am so obsessed with it, I couldn't stop myself from mentioning it!)! I have a few things to report.

* First came Root Beer..... then came Beer Beer.... and now, I can claim I have conquered my final beer, Ginger Beer! You may recall I drank some with my Jamaican dinner in Wisconsin, and I found it fine. The other day, my husband was generous enough to let me drink one of his prized bottles of Cock 'n Bull Ginger Beer. And I made it through just fine, no problems! I don't like it as like much as I like Ginger Ale.... but it wasn't too long ago that I didn't like Ginger Ale either! So, maybe Ginger Beer will grow on me in time. Now, at least if we are serving my World Famous Moscow Mules to friends, I can have one with everyone else.... but I still will refuse to drink it from a copper mug. Me and my sensitive teeth don't enjoy the feeling of drinking from ice cold copper. :-/

* I went out for lunch with a couple of friends the other day to Mohawk Bend, where I happily drank my First Ever Local LA Beer On Tap. It was a Yellowtail Kolsch, and I enjoyed it very much! I also enjoyed pretending I was back in Wisconsin for the day, eating a sandwich and drinking beer with my lunch. :-)

Here I am, dreaming of Wisconsin. I'm with Penny Marshall again, who I run into around town more than you can imagine! I've had at least 3 Penny Marshall encounters!

* In the spirit of trying new things, and since I figured I was over my issues with Flavored Water, I went wild and drank one of those trendy O.N.E. Coconut Waters. And it was DELICIOUS! I never would have tried it during my days of thinking I don't like Flavored Water! But I'm glad I tried it now!

* Finally, I really am a changed woman..... I went to Musso and Frank last night... and did I order a Manhattan or an Old Fashioned?!? No, I did not, because all I had been thinking about all day (when I wasn't thinking about that Chicken Salad) was how delicious and refreshing a Gin & Tonic would be! I marched right in and got one, and thoroughly enjoyed it! If you told me 6 months ago that I would willing opt for a G&T as my M&F drink, I would not have believed you!

Of course, a girl can't live on G&T alone...

After having my delicious Gin and Tonic, I moved on to one of the famous Musso and Frank Martinis, but I even decided to mix that up a bit. I have only had Martinis with olives, until last night, when I decided to experiment with getting my Martini with a Twist of Lemon instead. And while I enjoyed it, I learned that I do prefer a Martini with olives! At least it's nice to know for sure, instead of blindly assuming that olives are the way to go.

OK, I'll be back when I have anything to report.... or when it's time to write up my monthly Progress Report. I'm proud of myself this month.... it's gonna be a great report this time! :-) In the meantime, I'm gonna go and make myself a Chicken Salad with Pickles and Lima Beans.....

Brazilian Blowout

Last night, I returned to the scene of a crime. The crime was that I received the Worst Meal I Have Ever Had in a restaurant. And this meal alone caused me to write off the food of an entire country. But in the spirit of this blog, I decided it was only fair to go back and try it again.

In many cases, it seems that the kinds of Brazilian food that is popular these days is not exactly my style. Meaning, it's those Gaucho places (like Fogo de Chao) where a bunch of disgusting, greedy Americans sit around and fill their fat faces with endless meats until their bodies cry mercy and they drop dead from any of the dozen diseases caused by eating red meat. Clearly, this is not the kind of Brazilian place I am talking about.

Fuck you.

The place where I had the Worst Meal I Have Ever Had in a Restaurant was at Cafe Brasil, about 5 years ago. I'm not kidding, this was literally the only time I have *ever* been served a meal that I found to be largely inedible. Anyone who knows me, knows I have a huge appetite and I spend most of my time hungry. And when I push away my plate, full of uneaten food, it's a serious situation! In retrospect, I probably should have known better. I ate there on the recommendation of my former roommate.... the one with the worst taste in food ever. :-)

I got the Vegetarian Plate. And yes, I liked the rice, black beans and plantains that it included. But the bulk of the meal was this gigantic pile of vegetables, overcooked and served in a horrific mustard sauce. Now, 5 years ago, I obviously would NOT have willingly ordered something covered in mustard sauce! But the menu didn't indicate this would be the case. So, I was given a big plate of something awful. And I decided, then and there, "If this is Brazilian Food, I clearly hate Brazilian Food!"

Mean Mr. Mustard Plate

Well, last night, I confronted my Brazilian Nemesis again. And hooo boy, those were some mustard-y veggies! I clearly understand why I wouldn't have been able to eat more than 2 bites of it the last time I attempted this meal. It is no kidding around with the mustard! However, I am happy to report that I ate it just fine last night! Since I have dealt with my mustard issues, I was able to eat about 3/4 of my mustard-soaked veggies. Now, I can't say I loved it. I insist this is a very odd choice of a sauce to put on vegetables. But it was ok, and I managed just fine. I definitely met my own criteria.... if someone gave this to me at their home, I am now able to cheerfully eat a respectable amount without causing an awkward scene. Also, I have decided to forgive the entire country and Brazil for that one plate of mustard doused vegetables, and I will no longer claim I hate all Brazilian food. I mean, the black beans, rice and plantains really were damn good! :-)

Here we were after dinner last night. I am happy that I no longer hate the cuisine of an entire country. My husband is happy because he missed going to Cafe Brasil, since I obviously refused to go back there for many years!

I really am getting close to the end of this little food experiment! I'm still on the lookout for vegan desserts that are flavored with green tea. And I will but more seaweed snacks one day soon. Really, I will!

Strange Cravings Have Found Me

I don't have any new foods that I have conquered this week. Mostly, because I have just a few things left on my list! And I haven't had any reason to pop open some champagne.... and I am still afraid to buy more seaweed snacks.... I *do* have some big Yucky Food plans for Saturday night, but in the meantime, let me tell you about my Strange Craving for today.

My husband has pontificated that there are a few levels of learning to like a food you used to think you hated. First, you get over yourself, you find you can tolerate it just fine, you accept with without objection when it is thrust upon you, you maybe even see why people consider it to be a delicious food. But then, there is Level 2, which is how you know you REALLY have embraced it: You find yourself craving that food.

During the course of this project, this has happened to me a few notable times. First, with sauerkraut. Almost instantly, that food which I thought I hated took a hold on me, and I fell madly in love. And I have since spent huge portions of my time craving it. Remember the 2 or 3 weeks in June when I though about nothing else but eating another Vegan Reuben? And then there was my Exotic Vacation in Wisconsin, which was my Beer Quest.... by the last day, I surprised myself by actually craving a nice cold pint of draft beer. But today, another one showed up... something I haven't had for a couple of months... but there was the craving for it, and I thought about it pretty much all day long....

What what?

I mean, are you kidding me? It's been 4 months since I had my Musso and Frank Gin & Tonic! And I was left with a feeling of, "OK, I understand why people like this. It was just fine. I liked it a little. Carry on." But I am not kidding that I spent this ENTIRE DAY longing for a Gin and Tonic! So much so that my dutiful husband ran to the liquor store near our house and got me some tonic water, so I could make one. Which I did! And I just enjoyed very much. Heck, I may stop writing and make another, I liked it so much.

Here I am, reaching for some Morr-ison gin & tonic

I swear, sometimes, I don't know who I am anymore.

H20K

It wasn't until I started this project that I really realized that I had a huge, and very stupid, problem with so many kinds of water! WATER! Of all things! When I started this, I determined that I "didn't like" Mineral Water, Sparkling Water, Tonic Water, Flavored Water, and my most ridiculous objection, Water At A Restaurant with a Piece of Lemon In It. Geez Louise, talk about a Picky Bitch!!!

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you all that I have dealt with myself, and I no longer feel the need to be crazy and turn my nose up at drinking any type of water, unless it is Salt Water, Muddy Water Full of Intestinal Parasites or Water From The Actual Toilet Bowl.

I am happy that I can embrace all kinds of Waters.

I drank my final bottle of flavored water today... a Blackberry flavored "Hint Fizz" water. It was fine. No need to be ridiculous about it!

So, let's all celebrate my recent victories in the only appropriate way I know how! Here's Liberace playing the Beer Barrel Polka accompanied by The Dancing Waters!!!! :-D

I'm really getting down to the nitty gritty here, guys. Of course, I did pass by the display of Seaweed Snacks at Trader Joe's the other day.... and I just kept on walking by....

No Tears For Tiramisu

Hey guys! It's my *100th* post! And I have over 2100 views! Thanks for sticking with me through 100 posts of strange and yucky foods and drinks!

Today, I decided to finally get around to eating something I have intended on eating since this blog began, but I never got around to it! Today was the day for Tiramisu!

In my research, I could only find one place in all of LA that I could definitely get vegan Tiramisu, the very healthy and very trendy macrobiotic restaurant, M Cafe. I have been to their location on Melrose a few times, but it has been years. We just never think to go there. Parking is a pain, the place is often extremely crowded and the food, while good, is expensive. However, I did have perhaps my most impressive celebrity sighting at that M Cafe. Anthony Kiedis. I mean, you see actors all the time in LA, but rock stars are rare to spot in broad daylight! Today, we went to the Beverly Hills location. We didn't see any rock stars today, but Steve Martin walked right past us. ;-)

I managed to snap a quick pic of Anthony Kiedis leaving M Cafe.

To start out with, I should mentioned that, in spite of my reputation as Sandwich Queen, and the fact all of their sandwiches looked so good, I instead ordered a very healthy meal! I got the M Cafe Macro Meal, which is "heirloom-varietal organic brown rice, steamed seasonal vegetables, hijiki seaweed, housemade pickles, and carrot-ginger dressing." And anyone who has been reading this blog at all would know why I opted to get that! So, I was expecting a lot more hijiki than what I got. Literally, there was about 1 tbsp of hijiki on my plate. I ate it all up in 2 bites, and had problem with it whatsoever. Which is good for me! :-)


After eating such a healthy entree, I was ready for my treat! Tiramisu is something I had only tasted in it's non-vegan form maybe once or twice. I didn't like it because I didn't like anything coffee flavored until I was in my mid-20's. But my main objection was the soggy texture. I'm just not one for soggy cake. I have never for a moment coveted a piece of Tres Leches cake, for example, and not merely because even an Uno Leche cake would turn me off. Soggy cake just never seemed like a good idea.

Cats, like cake, aren't meant to be soggy.

Upon first bite of my Tiramisu, I was reminded of my soggy issues. It's still strange to me, but I got over it almost instantly. Maybe because of the fact that I hadn't had any kind of treat or dessert since June 28, but I found myself shoveling it down pretty quickly. It tasted good, and the sogginess didn't deter me from behaving like I was in a Tiramisu Eating Contest.


Vegan Tiramisu, as stated, is hard to come by. If I encounter it again, would I eat it? Sure.... especially if there wasn't some kind of non-soggy cake that I could eat instead! :-D But I consider it conquered. I imagine that Tiramisu purists would tell me the vegan kind couldn't possibly count, as it lacks most of the major components of traditional Tiramisu (whipped egg yolks, mascarpone cheese, lady fingers), but as far as this vegan is concerned, the major component of Tiramisu is sogginess.... which I just happily ate.... in my mind Tiramisu = conquered. :-)

Sandwich Queen

As you know, this is what my trip to Wisconsin largely looked like:

I had many delightful sandwiches during my Two Sandwiches a Day Makes Your Diet Go Away tour of WI. Reuben Sandwiches. A Breakfast Sandwich (because sandwiches aren't just for lunch and dinner anymore!). The old stand by, Hummus Sandwiches. About 3/4 of the way through our vacation, we spent the day in Milwaukee. Before we arrived at the Palamino Bar and Restaurant, I promised my husband that I was going to get something besides a sandwich for my meal. I had seen the menu. I knew they had a Vegan Chicken Fried Steak, as well as Vegan Mac and Cheese, both of which would normally be very high on my List of Foods To Eat When I am Eating Like An Unhealthy Pig. But I had to break my promise when I dared glance at the sandwich menu. Because, lo and behold, there was a "Faux Boy" sandwich which boasted blackened seitan. And my desire to get over blackened food trumped my promise to eat something besides a sandwich! And besides, how often do I get to eat a Po' Boy? Not often enough, I'd say!

Faux Boy with Tater Tots and Vegan Ranch. Life doesn't get much better than this!

 Anyway, you won't be surprised to hear that I enjoyed this sandwich, blackened or not! And it's sad to imagine that, in the past, I wouldn't have even tried it, based on it's claims of "blackened" seitan. I would have missed out on what was perhaps the Best Sandwich of my vacation. It was either that one or the "Heathen Vegan Shoplifter's Delight" that I ate the next day.

More vegan food porn

So, there you go. I think I'm over blackened, but I do want to try some of the blackened tempeh when next I go to the Veggie Grill. And then, I will have fully alleviated my fears of blackened foods! Well, except for the fact that 99% of all blackened foods are actual meat. I'll still be afraid of those! :-)