Pretzel, You Betzel!!!

My husband is not on Pinterest, for a simple reason. He doesn't have a vagina. Seriously, it IS For Women Only, right?!? Because everything I have ever seen on there is a recipe, a decorating idea, exercise tips, fashion / make up concepts, crafty things to make, and the occasional cute animal or shirtless hunk. In other words, Things Women Like.

So, to tantalize him, I showed him my board of Vegan Things I Want That I Will Never Make. And told him that I would make whatever things he wanted me to make, as a part of this cooking adventure. And this was the first recipe that caught his eye, inspiring him to say I WANT THOSE TODAY: Soft Buttery Pretzel Twists.

I know pretzels are not nearly as insane and exotic as those Vegan Deviled Eggs I made the other day. But they are a good example of something I just wouldn't bother making these days. I used to do a bit more bread baking / pizza crust making / etc. but I've been shunning making recipes that involve yeast for the past year or 2. No good reason for that, except I had it in my mind that Yeast Recipes Take Too Long, Because You Have To Sit Around Forever While That Stuff Rises!

You know, I need to get over myself! These pretzels really didn't take that long to make.... maybe 75 minutes from start to finish. The ingredients are simple and the process was pretty easy. And just check them out!!!

According to my husband, these were The Best Pretzels Ever!

Anyway, making these pretzels reminded me that, really, it's not a big deal to whip up some kind of yeast dough and make a delicious, bread-y treat. What else was I going to do with those 75 minutes? Watch a few episodes of Portlandia on Roku? Play that goddamn Vasebreaker Endless game on Plants vs. Zombies? Pin even yet still more Vegan Things I Want That I Will Never Make recipes on Pinterest? Gotta say, the pretzels were a much better use of my time, and gave both of us much more satisfaction. Because they really were some fantastic pretzels!

Here I am, extremely thankful that I learned to like beer! It's true; beer goes much better with a pretzel than a Manhattan would!

Oh, and I made the recipe as is, but with the obvious substitution that I basted my twists with massive amounts of Earth Balance Buttery Spread, and not actual butter!