Grapefruit Expectations

As you know, my husband and I are in Eating Light mode. I just found myself in need of an afternoon snack, so of course I took that opportunity to spend a little time working on a grapefruit. And this was perhaps the grapefruit that broke the vegan's back. Because I really came to grips with the fact that, when it comes to grapefruit, I've gone about as fer as I can go!

Here I am realizing that I CAN, in fact, say No!

This is what happened to me. I decided that I was going to eat a plain old grapefruit. Which I started to do... and I could do it without much fuss, but I cain't say I enjoyed it! So, I went ahead and put just a tiny drizzle of agave on it... boy, did that little bit of agave make a huge difference! Honestly, I liked the grapefruit just fine. Not my favorite citrus fruit.... in fact, surely my least favorite... but I ate it without any trouble nor any complaints (except for the complaint I uttered when I accidently squirted myself in the eye with wayward grapefruit juice!). And that, I think is GOOD ENOUGH!

So what if I can't eat a plain grapefruit! Who on Earth actually does that, anyway?!? Doesn't everybody put a little sugar or honey on it?!? Why then should I hold myself to a higher standard than 99% of the human population?

The fact is, I have made HUGE progress with grapefruits. I went from not being able to deal with them at all, to being able to eat and drink them (without making a face!) in pretty much every normal context. I can eat them in a salad, I can eat them in a fruit cup, I can drink them in a cocktail, I can eat them right out of the peel, with my little grapefruit spoon. Remember, my main goal with grapefruit was to make sure I'm not ever the Biggest Pain in the Ass Vegan again, and that if a kindly old lady ever gives me a grapefruit for breakfast again, I shall be able to grapefully ;-) accept it, and not wince nor cry. And I have met that goal!

However, I *will* wince and cry if this is what I get on my upcoming birthday!!!

I really do live a life now in which I do not dread encountering grapefruit. I can accept it when it is given to me unexpectedly, and I can easily imagine willingly ordering a salad or a drink that contains my former foe. And far as I'm concerned, grapefruit, you are CONQUERED!


But I'm still very much afraid of those seaweed snacks....

A Rawed Awakening

Generally speaking, as soon as something is labeled as being "raw food" or "living food"' I automatically assume that it is a health (not healthY) food that doesn't taste good and is being marketed to White Weirdos With Money. And throughout the years, people have assumed that, since I am vegan, I am also one who embraces Raw Foods. Which I am NOT!

All of my experiences with Raw Foods had been negative ones. The first was about 13 years ago. For some reason, I acquired a copy of that Juliano's "Uncook Book." I made a total of 1 recipe from it, which was allegedly some kind of avocado soup. And in all of my years cooking, that was the ONLY meal I have ever made that I had to throw the whole thing away because it tasted so terrible! I don't know how Juliano managed to ruin something as perfect as an avocado (I seem to remember it had something to do with an abundance of lemon juice), but it was disgusting! I was outraged, not only by how bad it was, but by the fact I had wasted so many good (and rather expensive, I must add!) avocados on this drek, that for the next decade, I couldn't even drive past Juliano's stupid restaurant without thinking (or saying), "Fuck you, Juliano, you weirdo!"

Never gonna stop being mad at you, Juliano! You owe me $10 worth of avocados!!!

The next bad experience was 10 years ago. I thought I was going to a vegan restaurant in Chicago, but surprise, surprise, it was a RAW restaurant. :-( But I figured I would give it a chance. I ordered some kind of "burrito".... and what I received was a horrific sprouted mess of garbage, wrapped in a cabbage leaf. It was at this point I swore I would never again eat in a Raw restaurant.

Also, over the years, I tasted a small variety of Raw snacks, all given to me by my former roommate, who has both the most bizarre eating patterns AND the worst taste in food of anyone I have ever met (and if you are reading this, M.S., sorry, but you know it is true!!! ;-) ). Each one was more disgusting than the last.... dehydrated "crackers" that were like cardboard... and I'm still scarred from the chocolate pudding that was made by ruining more avocados by pureeing them with some cocoa powder.... *shudder* And I admit that it didn't make me think very highly of a Raw diet when my friend was eating Raw, and it made him get so pale and emaciated that he looked like an actual vampire. Clearly, this is a diet for neurotic people with some food issues! (Yes, I am aware that most people would say the exact same thing about vegans. :-p )

ANYWAY, I had my mind made up about Raw Foods, and was content to never eat them again. My husband kept insisting that he knew people, and not people who are even vegetarians or particularly healthy eaters, that ate at Raw places and insisted that they had a good meal. I was not convinced. But in the spirit of this project, I agree to give one a try.

I bought a Groupon to (get this) Euphoria Loves RAWvolution , and since there is nothing in a Raw Foods place that would be off limits to the little diet my husband and I are currently on, we went for dinner last night. So, first, I have to say that I am sure I am correct that only weirdos embrace Raw Foods, because literally everyone in that place was an Insane Lunatic! It was actually comical, like someone from central casting picked out a motley crew that one would except to find in a Raw restaurant in Santa Monica, CA! I'd like to imagine that my husband and I stuck out like a sore thumb amidst all of these weirdos!!! :-)

I ordered a Red Enchilada, which was romaine, cashew cheese and on my server's suggestion, some taco spiced "nut meat", which was wrapped in some kind of coconut thing. And you know what? It really wasn't bad! It was much better than the "burrito" I got in Chicago a decade ago... I can only assume there have been major advances in Raw Foods since then, just as there have been major advances in Vegan Food. The "nut meat" was very well seasoned. I managed to eat everything on my plate! Of course, this was also due to the fact I have been eating so light lately, that I was not only starving, but I was elated to eat ANYTHING that wasn't another plate of steamed veggies and a whole grain salad! :-)

And for once, the Raw Foodists didn't do anything to ruin an avocado! I enjoyed my gigantic pile of guacamole! But that strange, dehydrated "chip".... not so much.

Anyway, I am proud of myself that I was open minded about this, and gave it another try. I'm in no rush to ever eat at a Raw Restaurant again, but I suppose if I were stranded on a desert island and the only place to eat there was a Raw Restaurant, I guess I wouldn't turn up my nose at it, the way I would have before I started this project. ;-)

Epilogue: About an hour after eating my Raw dinner, I got sick. I felt very nauseated and had terrible stomach cramps. I felt better in about 2 hours. Now, I don't know for sure it was my dinner that disagreed with me... maybe the problem was just dumb old me... but all signs do point to the fact that my Raw Meal made me feel bad, which is the exact opposite of what a Raw Meal is supposed to do to you! So, I have yet another reason to avoid Raw places in the future.

The Gal Who Ate Nothing

I finally have a moment to update my blog! As I mentioned, my work load has gone bananas lately. I was swamped before I went away last week, and immediately upon my return home, I was SWAMPED again!

However, once again, I'm back in Eating Light mode.... which seriously cramps my ability to Eat Everything Vegan! In solidarity with my husband, who wants to be in Tip Top Shape for a big work event next month, we're both doing the 'ol High in Fresh Produce & Whole Grains  / Low in Processed Foods, Sugar & Alcohol routine again. Meaning, this is not the month I'll be overcoming my fears of tiramisu, green tea flavored desserts or ginger beer. However, I have plenty of time to work on grapefruit and mineral water! :-/

Speaking of which, I did just eat half a grapefruit. And you know, it really wasn't that bad! I'm inching towards the finish line with those bad boys!

Also, I told you of my stunning success at my Special Vegan Three Course Dinner That I Had No Say In, but there was almost another major triumph from this project while I was away. I mentioned that my husband always believed that the single most important thing for me to like was Earl Grey Tea, since it is often the only black tea option at the pansy vegan places I often eat at. Well, on the day we flew to NJ, I hadn't had ANY tea... and it was about 7:30 PM EST (4:30 PM in my West Coast Body).... which is well into the Danger Zone! I asked the waiter at the pansy vegan restaurant we were at what kind of tea they had with caffeine in it. Sure enough, only Earl Grey! I could actually feel my husband thinking, "I told you so!" So, I proudly and confidently ordered an Earl Grey. Alas, it turned out they didn't have Earl Grey either, so I had to resort to black coffee... which explains why my husband was ready to crash and burn by 9 PM that night, whereas I was ready to boogie til dawn. ;-)

This is what my husband looked like when I tried to convince him to paint the town red with me that caffeinated night in NJ!

I'm sure I'll have something to report within the next several days. Until then, I'll be spending most of my time obsessing over the fact that there is now a Grilled Cheese Restaurant in LA that has VEGAN OPTIONS! Since I have heard about it, I have thought about nothing else.... a direct result of all of this healthy eating, I'm sure!

An Unpicky Triumph

Tonight, I found myself in the exact situation that inspired me to start this project! And I was so proud of myself for being able to face my dinner without fear!

We went to eat with my parents and some family friends. The daughter of the friends recently opened an upscale Italian restaurant in our hometown, so we all ate there. I had perused the menu online, and while there was nothing stunning that was possibly vegan, there was a spinach salad I figured I could get, sans bacon and cheese, as well as your typical pasta with fresh tomato basil sauce. Well, the chef had been warned about the pansy vegan coming to dinner, but I was shocked at how ready he was for me! As I began to place my order, the owner interrupted me and said that the chef had prepared a vegan three course meal for me! So, I had no say in my dinner.... but now that I am The Unpicky Vegan, I also was also not afraid of being given something I don't like. The subject came up that I just had to say so if I was given something I don't like, and it sure was liberating to be able to emphatically say, "I like everything! As long as it's vegan, I'm cool with it!"

My dinner was great! It included several things that I would not have eaten 10 years ago (raw tomatoes, asparagus) and 1 thing I wouldn't have eaten before this project (pickled onions). I was SO GLAD I was able to completely clear my plates of all three courses. I mean, how shitty would it be after someone went through such a special effort to accommodate me, if I rejected anything I was given? Not only would that be annoying for everyone, but it is borderline rude! But mostly, it's just annoying to be That Picky Bitch. Tonight, I was NOT That Picky Bitch, and what a relief it was!

Guys, if there is an extremely common food that you refuse to eat, I highly recommend that you just get over yourself and learn to at least tolerate it. Friends don't let friends be Picky Bitches! ;-)

Cool Jerk

It took 48 hours in NJ before I reached my Food Overload Point. This was after dinner last night. I made a vow that I was going to eat salad for lunch today. But when we reached our lunch destination, my salad plan went out the window. Because one of the lunch specials today was a veggie burger with a jerk flavored BBQ sauce. And, as I have mentioned, I was under the impression that I didn't like "jerk" flavored foods. I don't often encounter jerky foods, so I couldn't let this opportunity pass me by.

As I ate my burger, I realized that *I* am the jerk! I'm not sure why I had been living under the impressing that I don't like jerky foods. It was good! Maybe it was an atypical jerk, so I do want to try another jerk before I claim a victory, but I can't imagine that I will have an issue with it! In the meantime, I will mourn all of the jerks I could have known over the years, but that I never knew, because I stubbornly assumed that I wouldn't like a jerk!

Before I go, I want to tell you how much I enjoyed some of my new friends yesterday. I had a magnificent Everything Bagel for breakfast, to make up for all of those lost years that I refused them. My lunch included a lovely salad of arugula, avocados, and strawberries, but I never would have ordered it in the past, because it also included radishes. But I got to enjoy it because I have thoroughly embraced radishes! And then, I ate My Second Reuben. And it was fantastic! My life really has been improved by embracing my former enemies!

The Gal Who Ate An Everything Bagel

Sorry for the lack of links and photos... it's hard to accomplish them on the iPad!

Anyway, as expected, my time in NJ has been filled with comfort food. I know it is a dance with the actual NJ Devil, since this very meal set me in motion towards becoming a big, fat, caterpillar on my last trip to NJ, but yet, I could not resist getting those damn vegan pierogies! And tonight, I made a pretty major discovery: a soul food restaurant, right in my hometown, that actually has a Vegan section on their menu! I have eaten vegan soul food in LA, Chicago, Atlanta, NYC, Oakland and Sacramento, but I NEVER expected to find such a thing at the Jersey Shore. So, this was exciting, but not exactly challenging.

However, the real reason I wanted to pop on here tonight was to tell of you the major event that happened this morning. Clearly, this is NJ, so there are always bagels for breakfast. And as I have mentioned, I only ever ate the plain ones. I'm not kidding. I never before deviated from a plain NJ bagel. Well, I remembered how I had successfully eaten those Everything Pretzel Slims a month or so ago, so I threw caution to the wind..... and got an Everything Bagel! And let me tell you... It was DELICIOUS! DeGodDamnLicious! Everything Bagel, where have you been all my life?!? Oh yeah, right in front of my face, but I always rejected you for your plain brother! What a fool I was! I sure am glad I got over myself and allowed myself to taste your beauty before (hopefully!) half of my very life is over!

Busy Beavers Don't Blog!

I'm sorry. Things have gone a bit bananas with my workload over the past week or so, and I've been quite the busy beaver! I didn't even have time to complete my one plan to eat something terrible this weekend, as it involved a drive to Santa Monica and back, and that wasn't happening today. I shall continue to be swamped until Wednesday, when I leave town.... then, I'll be running around like lunatic when I am away (and surely, eating nothing but comfort foods that I enjoy).... I've really gotten derailed with my eating and blogging project! I'll pop in if I have anything to report over the next week, but I may not, sadly!

Me.

Anyway, don't give up on me... I shall return! :-)