Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Parsnips and Prejudice

I am a very prejudiced woman. For most of my life, I have dismissed an entire category of vegetables, mostly without ever having tasted them. Root vegetables. Even by my own criteria, it makes no sense that I would have automatically shunned almost all of them. After all, some of my best friends are vegetables that grew under the ground! I have always loved potatoes, sweet potatoes and carrots.... but not so much beets and radishes. Still, it seems strange that instead of thinking, "I love carrots! There must be other root vegetables that are just as nifty!" I instead decided, "I'm not much a fan of radishes, so vegetables that grow under the ground must be the root of all evil." Sadly, that pun WAS intended. Forgive me.

For dinner, I made Citrus-Marinated Tofu with Onions and Peppers. Since that was a safe meal (with an extremely delicious sauce, I must say!), I decided that I would also roll out the parsnips. I thought these Baked Parsnip Fries With Rosemary sounded like they could be palatable. Of course, since we are talking about me here, I also threw a half a pound of green beans in, to roast with them. (See previous post, regarding my second rule on how to live my life.) 

My verdict: I like parsnips! And I am ashamed that I was so prejudiced that I avoided them for almost 4 decades! I will experiment with different ways to prepare parsnips in the future (I have already collected recipes involving using them in soup and in a mashed version), but as for these roasted ones, I liked everything about them. The taste and texture were both very appealing. My husband summed them up very well, "These taste like sweet potatoes, without the sweet!"

I know parsnips are not a popular vegetable, but don't be afraid of them. If you like sweet potatoes, potatoes and carrots, you'll probably be ok with parsnips as well. I am personally very excited that I have found yet another vegetable that I can roast, because if there is one thing that makes vegetables taste good (aside from turning them into zucchini bread or carrot cake! ;-) ), it's roasting them!

I will continue to fight my Root Vegetable Prejudice..... Watch out, turnips, I'm coming for you next!


Monday, March 5, 2012

It's Not Easy Eating Green

I live my life by following two basic rules. 1) Don't drink anything that Don Draper wouldn't drink 2) Eat green at every meal. The former has led me to favor bars where very old men both drink and tend the bar, so I am able to get my hands on a decent Old Fashioned, Manhattan or Martini (Gin!)... you'd be amazed at how many bartenders under age 50 I have flummoxed with my Classic Cocktail requests! The latter has caused me to force such a huge quantity of green things down my gullet, that I feel it sometimes borders on comedy. Or that I have pigeonholed myself into being Ms. Stereotypical Vegan, with my diet consisting so largely of kale and broccoli. I may have escaped 13 years of Catholic School unscathed, but I admit I feel true guilt when my lunch or dinner plate contains nothing green.

As far as I'm concerned, the most important and healthiest foods to eat are green veggies, especially the dark, leafy ones. I'm not making this up... look at ANY list of "Superfoods" or "Top Ten Healthiest Foods to Eat More Of" and leafy greens will be the one food that everyone can agree on. So, in spite of myself, I have learned to gorge on the stuff. With no exaggeration, before I was 25 years old, I ate NOTHING GREEN, with the exception of the occasional broccoli (preferably covered in cheese), peas (drowning in butter) and iceberg lettuce (on a sandwich or burger). Now, I am doing penance for those unhealthy (but, I admit, incredibly happy and delicious!) years where everything on my plate was some shade of beige or white.

Last night, I made Pasta alle Erbe. If my dinner is going to contain a full 2 bunches of greens, at least let me have an ample amount of pasta, a ton of garlic and a dose of crushed red pepper to help me choke it down! Besides, this recipe encourages you to Choose Your Own Greens.... so, what better time to incorporate that mysterious Lamb's Quarter I picked out at the Farmer's Market? For the curious, here's some Lamb's Quarter:




And I am happy to report that I now know that I like Lamb's Quarter! That is, I like it as much as I like any other green leafy vegetable.... which is to say, not much, but well enough that I can manage to force myself to eat my own weight in green vegetables at almost every single meal of my life. Lamb's Quarter is mild and smooth, with a taste and consistency very much like spinach. It was a fine counterpart to the Black Kale which I paired it with in the Pasta alle Erbe. As a side dish, I prepared Lemon Roasted Cauliflower with Capers, because I am a maniac, and the 2 bunches of greens in the pasta just wasn't enough veggies for a complete meal. At least I actually like cauliflower!

Although I do go over the top with the veggies, and especially the green vegetables, I recognize that everyone needs balance in their diets. So I say, bring on the Manhattans! ;-)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Just a Spoonful of Sugar Helps the Daikon Go Down

5 days into this experiment, and I have already learned that one of my approaches is probably the wrong way to go about liking stuff. Today, I learned a valuable lesson from a daikon and a sprig of parsley.

For lunch, I made a Meatball Bahn Mi (and may I take a moment to point out that Gimme Lean beef and / or sausage are the keys to making vegan meatballs and burgers? That stuff actually holds together!), a recipe I chose to help me with my daikon aversion. The daikon I acquired at the Farmer's Market was more or less the size of a baseball bat. As I went wild, shredding that bad boy for the slaw (a process I could not have completed without my handy Julienne Peeler), I figured I needed to start sampling the daikon, to get used to the taste, so that its presence didn't ruin my sandwich experience. I just started eating the naked daikon as if I were eating popcorn. This was not pleasant! I have noted my issues with radishes, which I was hoping to break myself into slowly by using the daikon as my transitional radish, since I'm told it is a "mild" radish. To me, it supplied all of the strangely spicy radish badness that I remembered from the last time I dared to put a radish in my mouth (which I believe was during the Reagan Administration). I figured as long as it included daikon, my sandwich was going to be a lost cause.

Anyway, the daikon goes into a slaw with shredded carrots, green onions and basil, and the whole shebang is marinated in a mixture of lime juice and sugar. The banh mi has a slew of other ingredients (meatballs with water chestnuts in them, cilantro, cucumbers, vegenaise mixed with Sriracha), which I hoped would at least mask the daikon badness enough for me to eat my lunch. When it was ready, it looked something like this:




And it was one goddamn great sandwich, daikon and all!

Here's the thing: marinating that daikon in the sugar and lime juice made ALL the difference in the world! I was able to pick pieces of the daikon off my sandwich, and eat it all by itself, and it tasted GOOD. So, I learned that plain daikon is >8-p but marinated daikon is :-D . After avoiding it my entire life, I'm not afraid of daikon as an ingredient anymore, assuming that it will probably always be given some kind of special marinated treatment before it is used as an ingredient.

Now, for my Parsley Process. As promised, I was going to eat some doses of parsley on its own, to get used to the flavor of Parsley Overload, to help me conquer tabbouleh. So, I took a large pinch of parsley (about a tablespoon), and ate it. Or, shall I say, I *tried* to eat it. I chewed it up a little.... then gagged.... then spat the whole wad out in the sink. I was kind of shocked I had that reaction! I don't consider myself to hate parsley so much that I would be unable to even swallow a tablespoon of it on its own! I eat it all the time.... in recipes. I think I should give up on trying to like certain things (like daikon and parsley), by trying to eat them unadorned and naked. Some things just need a little help from their friends to be palatable. ;-)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Beer and Loathing in Los Angeles

I just drank more beer than I had consumed in the first 38 1/2 years of my life.... combined. In other words, I just drank a mind-boggling HALF A BOTTLE OF BEER! But more on that in a minute!

Today, I did my first round of grocery shopping since I began this project. In addition to the large pile of foods that I actually know I enjoy, I came home with 6 Weird Things that I think I hate, or that I have never had. This week's food contestants are:

1) Lamb's Quarter (I had never heard of it either! So, even if I have never eaten a lamb, soon I will at least have eaten Lamb's Quarter!)
2) Daikon
3) Parsnips
4) Cranberry Juice
5) Root Vegetable Chips
6) 1 bottle of pale ale

I started tackling that list almost the moment we got home. I made a veganized version of Grilled Cheese with Tomatoes and Olive Tapanade for lunch. They were delicious, BTW! With them, I tore right into that bag of Root Vegetable Chips. You know what I mean, right?






I've had chips like these before, but never enjoyed myself. There sure aren't many kinds of snack chips that I don't like, but I was never a fan of these things, especially the taro chips. I thought very hard about what I disliked about them. First, the texture is hard and dense, not light and crispy like a potato chip. And the flavor is more sweet than salty, again, not like a potato chip. At this point, I realized it was my own prejudice that had been my problem all these years. See, I LOVE potato chips. As with hummus, potato chips are not allowed in my house, or bad things happen. I needed to consider these Root Vegetable Chips on their own merit, and not compare them to their more delicious cousin, Potato Chips. Once I stopped myself from feeling sad that I wasn't eating potato chips, but accepted that these Root Vegetable Chips were their own thing, well, they started to grow on me almost immediately. I could willingly eat these at a party.... that is, if there aren't any potato chips there to demand all of my attention!

Now, for a biggie. Beer. Guys, I am not merely indifferent to beer. I actively HATE it. The smell of it, the taste of it, yuck! I am 100% sure that I have this problem because I didn't drink at all during high school or college. Had I been a teenage drinker, I surely would have acquired a taste for beer before I acquired a driver's license! So, I'm coming to this game really late.... but I'm gonna try. I mean, beer was literally invented BEFORE THE WHEEL. Seriously! Every culture on the Earth that drinks alcohol at all, drinks some variety of beer. Time for me to try and join the human race. :-)

My husband is not a beer fan either, so he agreed to share the bottle with me. We took a whiff of it, causing me to make a horrible face, and him to exclaim, "It smells like my father's breath!" I managed to drink my entire half bottle, not without grimacing and complaining the whole time, but I did it. My issues with beer are apparently it's urine-like aroma and yeasty flavor. And this was with the palest, wussiest beer that Trader Joe's had to offer! At this point, I would rather drink a bathtub full of Earl Grey or Champagne than a bottle of beer. But I will persist. One bottle of beer per week for me, until I am doing the unimaginable and happily downing the darkest, beer-iest bottle of this drek that I can find.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Buy Something Weird

I am the queen of menu planning. I am also the queen of visiting the grocery store only once a week. To stay organized, I have a magnetic pad of paper on the refrigerator. Every time I notice I am low on a pantry staple (and I am aware I am in a very small minority of people who considers both Nutritional Yeast and Jack Daniels to be pantry staples), I immediately put it on the list, so I never run out of anything important. Once a week, I sit down and spend about 30 minutes planning all of the meals for the week (which is usually 5 dinners, plus 1 lunch or brunch, for my husband and I, as well as 3 large meals I get paid to cook for a friend, who hired me years ago to be his personal chef), carefully considering seasonal produce, and ensuring I will be presenting a proper variety of vegetables, proteins, grains and foods from various ethnic backgrounds. My husband and I go food shopping together on Saturdays, often hitting up the Farmer's Market, as well as a health food store and / or Trader Joe's. I almost never buy anything that is not on my shopping list. My method works very well for me. I save time and money. I always know what the plan for dinner is several days in advance. I *seriously* cannot understand people who have no idea what they are going to eat for dinner until they get home after work at 7 PM. But I guess someone has to be buying all of those Lean Pockets and frequenting Taco Bell. In my 14 years in West Hollywood, I have had a delivery man bring me take out food a total of *1* time. I am confident I am the only woman in the entire state of California who can make that claim!

So, yeah. The clothes in my dresser drawers are a rumpled mess. I throw the Tupperware willy nilly into the cabinet. Chances are high that you will encounter a Tupperware avalanche by opening my kitchen cabinet. I can be pretty lackadaisical about some things, but when it comes to my menu planning, I am The Most Organized Girl in the World.

So far in this experiment, I have encountered some Hated Foods only because they have randomly been thrust upon me. But now is the time I take control, and employ my next new rule, Buy Something Weird.

Each week, I will be taking a two pronged approach to this. First, I will make sure that every meal plan involves a couple of foods that I either hate, or that I am undecided about. I can promise you, parsnips and daikon have NEVER appeared on my shopping list before, but they are on it at this very moment! Second, I will go against my very nature and..... get ready, because this is a real shocker..... Buy Something Weird That Is Not On My List! I'll see what crazy crap Mother Nature has for me at the Farmer's Market, then figure out what the heck to do with it. I mean, do YOU know what one would do with kohlrabi?!? I shall also keep my eyes open at Trader Joe's, and make a point of picking up something I think I don't like. By incorporating at least 4 or 5 questionable foods into my weekly shopping excursion, I will have ample opportunity to chip away at that big list of things I hate.

Finally, my husband and I go out to eat about once a week. He asked me if I had any ideas about where I may like to go this week, and I became the First Person in History to reply that I didn't know where I wanted to eat, except that it had to be a place where I can order something I hate! :-D

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Identifying the Source of the Problem

I simply cannot be trusted with hummus. For this reason, I try not to have it in the house. If it's here, I easily succomb to its Siren Song, which results in me eating the entire container, no matter how large it is, within a day or 2. And I don't need no pansy pita or crudite! No sir, I go at it with a spoon, the way normal people would eat a bowl of chowder.

I was planning to make Pasta With Chickpeas and Charred Tomatoes for dinner this week, a delicious, but bizarre recipe which calls for hummus. I was still feeling guilty for some major sins I committed on Oscar Night, mostly having to do with a gigantic platter of Ultimate Vegan Nachos, so I knew it wasn't reasonable to bring a vat of irresistible hummus into the house this week. I remembered that Trader Joe's carries a meal called the Middle East Feast, a product which has saved my vegan ass on many long plane trips. It contains just the amount of hummus I'd need to make the pasta dish. I figured I would eat the rest of the feast for lunch one day.... which is how I came to eat one of my Hated Foods today: Tabbouleh.


Normally, I just eat the falafel, pita and hummus, and throw that tabbouleh right into the garbage can. But I'm not allowed to do that anymore! So, I decided to really concentrate on the tabbouleh and figure out what is so off putting about it. I like most of the ingredients. It tastes largely of garlic and lemon, two of my favorite flavors. The texture is a bit unappealing, as it resembles wet lawn clippings. But the source of the problem is too much parsley!

I'm generally great with all kinds of herbs. Basil, mint, chives, sage, thyme, you name it! I even embrace the World's Most Divisive Herb: Cilantro. How can I be taken down by the most pedestrian herb of them all? I like parsley just fine in small doses. I cook with it every week. But somehow, a soggy forkful of the stuff is unsettling.

My Parsley Plan is simple. I almost always have some fresh parsley on hand. I'm just going to periodically eat sprigs of the stuff, to get better with the Full Parsley Experience, until I can handle it in large doses. And when I conquer parsley, I will have conquered tabbouleh.

Everything Learned Can Be Unlearned

As previously stated, I've been making an effort to incorporate new foods into my diet for the past 10 years, with great success. However, until very recently, I thought I had gone as far as I could go. I mean, EVERYONE has foods they simply don't like, right? It isn't a character flaw to prefer not to eat mole or tirimisu. Then I heard about Jeffrey Steingarten, author of "The Man Who Ate Everything" and I began to wonder if all of my food aversions were a product of my own imagination.

Steingarten was hired to be the food critic for Vogue, but he realized he had numerous "food phobias" as he calls them, and feared they would keep him from being objective in his job, as if he were, "An art critic who detests the color yellow." He made a laundry list of all foods he disliked, and pledged to eat at least one food he hated every day. His theory was that food preferences are 100% learned, and that what is learned can be unlearned.... in his case, by repeated exposure. In 6 months, he was able to rid himself of ALL of his former "food phobias" including kimchi, dill, swordfish, anchovies, desserts in Indian restaurants, miso, mocha, chutney, falafel, Greek food, clams, cranberries, kidneys, okra, millet, coffee ice cream, refried beans and yogurt.

We acquire most of our food preferences in childhood, right from the start. Babies who are breast fed will have an easier time later in life accepting new and different flavors than babies given formula, as a variety of flavors color the mother's milk, preparing the child for the culinary delight that await her. Also, most parents give up on new foods if their baby rejects them after 2 or 3 attempts, which is the root cause of little fussy eaters who grow up into picky adults. You get peas spat on you 3 times, and you figure, "OK, she just doesn't like peas!" However, scientists have shown that most babies will accept nearly any food after 8 or 10 tries. The moral here, clearly, is keep it up, parents! You are the most important factor in setting up your child for a lifetime of culinary happiness!

I should note that I did NOT read Steingarten's whole book. I gathered all of the information I was looking for in the introduction, and while I really admire his tenacity and ability to embrace new foods, he said something that annoyed me to my core. "The more I contemplated food phobias, the more I became convinced that people who habitually avoid certifiably delicious foods are at least as troubled as people who avoid sex, or take no pleasure in it, except that the latter will probably seek psychiatric help, while food phobics rationalize their problem in the name of genetic inheritance, allergy, vegetarianism, matters of taste, nutrition, food safety, obesity or a sensitive nature."

Generally, I do kind of agree with his sentiment. People make all kinds of excuses for not eating certain foods, myself very much included. But obviously, I take issue with him throwing vegetarians under the bus like that! For me, and I would say for at least 90% of other vegetarians or vegans, we embrace it to follow a moral code, not because we are afraid of food. It is based on ethics, and if he is going to include vegetarians in the list of crazy people with unreasonable food restrictions, he's a hypocrite not to also put Jews and Muslims on that list! If you respect someone's belief that God told them not to eat pigs, why not respect my belief that killing of animals for food is cruel and unnecessary?

Regardless, a very interesting concept, and a new way of looking at things! I thank Mr. Steingarten for the inspiration to give this experiment a try. But as for the rest of his book.... well, Mr. Perfect Omnivore is going to have to go traipsing all over the globe, eating assholes and innards, sauteed in the fat of ducks and deer, without me. ;-)